An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman were sitting in a bar in Sydney. The view was fantastic, the beer excellent, and the food exceptional. "all this is great", said the Scotsman, "but I still prefer the pubs back home. Why, in Glasgow there's a little bar called McTavish's and the landlord there goes out of his way for the locals so much that when you buy 4 drinks he will buy the 5th drink for you."

"Well." said the Englishman "At my local, the Red Lion, the barman there will buy you a 3rd drink after you buy the first 2."

"Ahhh that's nothin'" said the Irishman "Back home in Dublin there's Ryan's Bar. Now the moment you set foot in the place they'll buy you a drink, then another... all the drinks you like. Then when you've had enough to drink they'll take you upstairs and see that you get laid. It's all on the house."

The Englishman and Scotsman immediately pour scorn on the Irishman's claims, but he swears that every word is true.

"Well" said the Englishman "Did this actually happen to you?"

"Not to myself personally, no" said the Irishman, "But it did happen to my sister."