The local doctor had to attend an important lecture in Dublin, and decided to let his assistant, Patrick, attend to his patients on that day. The following day, he asked Patrick how the day went, and if he had had any problems.
"Oh, no problems at all at all", said Patrick. "There was only three patients all day, so there was."
"First was Mrs O'Shea, who complained of bad headaches, and I gave here some panadol tablets, so I did."
"Very good", said the doctor. "And next?".
"Second was old Mr Mulligan, who complained of bad backaches, and I gave him some some Iboprofen, so I did."
"Also good, Patrick. Who was the last?".
"Well", said Patrick, "The last was that beautiful Maureen O'Sullivan, and she was in a right state, so she was."
"In what way?", asked the doctor.
"She came bursting into the surgery, ripped all of her clothes off, threw herself naked on the examination bed and cried out 'Docter, do with me what you will: I haven't seen a man in more than six weeks!', said Patrick.
"Good Lord!", exclaimed the doctor. "What did you do?"
Replied Patrick, "I put drops in her eyes, so I did."

Reminds me (somehow ?) of the honeymooning couple who mistook the window caulking for the KY jelly.
All their windows fell out.